Yesterday, as I was kicking up dust in the attic trying to stow away the Halloween boxes, my husband shouted up to me “Where are the batteries in the dancing chicken?”

Ok, long story, but yes, we have a dancing Halloween chicken that shuffles around to the beat of Macarana. The battery compartment was empty and he was puzzled. Just yesterday, the chicken had danced across the floor.

I shouted back down through the attic trapdoor, “I took the batteries out before I came up here. You’re not supposed to leave batteries in seasonal items or they might leak and corrode the inside.”

Now, my husband knew this about batteries. What was so baffling to him, however, was that I not only knew this, but had followed up and taken the batteries out before hauling the Halloween box to the attic. I’m not the one who usually tends to those kinds of details. He does. I’m more of a short cutter. I don’t towel dry dishes; nor do I carefully wrap every ornament in it’s own piece of newspaper when I store Christmas stuff. So why, he wondered, would I be so thorough as to take out batteries for storage?

The answer is something we’ve said to each other many times throughout our marriage, and which he shouted up the attic trapdoor to me ¬— “Ah, I know, different wife every day!”

You’re probably wondering what the heck that means? It’s a shorthand term we’ve used through the years to remind each other to really “see” our spouse. People change every day, every moment, yet when we get lazy we carry around an old snapshot of our spouse the way they were last month or last year rather than noticing and appreciating the small shifts. By reminding ourselves “Different wife every day,” we remember to keep our eyes open to each delicious twist, turn and surprise the other has to offer as a constantly evolving human being. If he keeps looking, one of these days he may even see me wrap the Christmas ornaments!

Find your own Pearls: For one day, really notice your spouse (or kids) and look for one thing that surprises you.

Pearls For Writers: Are you making any assumptions about your writing, or its quality, based on who you were last week or a year ago? What would it be like to sit down and write, ready for the surprise a new aspect of you has to reveal?

Have you ever had a lovely evening out with your spouse… only to see it disappear when someone tuned out? That almost happened to me the other night. My husband and I were having a great dinner and I was feeling relaxed and expansive. Then, he started fading. You know the look where someone’s body is there, but you can tell the mind is leaving the premises. With no forwarding address.

When I asked him where we went, he said his back was beginning to ache so he’d started to tune out. Then, he suggested we leave. I watched my expansiveness shrivel; we got the check, and I started feeling downright chilly.

The evening could have ended there. Instead, we stopped by the bookstore, where I decided to look for books in my own aisle, thank you very much. As I grumpily picked through the books, I realized that instead of being present, I kept blaming him for fading and ending our date. Rather than stay stuck in the past, I chose to re-focus on the moment — on the interesting titles, the colors of the book spines, and the little blonde boy squatting on the floor peering at  pictures. I took responsibility for where I was, right then. As I did that, the blame and disappointment melted. When my husband rounded a bend of bookshelves, I was able to hug him with nothing of the past hanging on. We were simply us again, and enjoying the moment together.

Discover Your Own Pearls: Have you ever had a mid-date “moment” with your spouse that was less than ideal? Next time that happens, how can you use “being in the moment” to shift the energy another direction?

I’ve never been much of a formal mediator. Although I meditate every day, it’s usually not a “sitting down at the same time every day kind of practice.” It’s more “breath as you go” or taking 10 minutes whenever I can squeeze it in.

Recently, however, I decided I’d try a more formal practice, actually waking up early (imagine!) to meditate. It’s been interesting, first of all, to see the difference between where my mind is at the same time each day. Some days I wake up really calm and immediately float into a blissful place as I listen to the gentle sounds of the day waking up around me. Other times my mind is more agitated or scattered, and I get to observe that and release some of it before I move on with the rest of my morning.

Wherever I am any particular morning is fine. The best part isn’t what my mind is doing on any given day – the real gift is that I get to greet myself in a deep way first thing in the morning. This is an intimacy that has been a surprise and a delight. So even though the weather is getting chillier and the prospect of padding over to my little spot before the sun is up is a stretch for me, I’m doing it and the benefits keep me going…

Yesterday evening the first hint of fall was in the air, so I decided to meet my hubby for a date at a nearby restaurant with a beautiful outdoor courtyard. The evening started perfectly.   Sipping on our drinks, we listened to water trickling down a small stone fountain, inhaled the flavors of a rich mole sauce wafting from the kitchen and noticed how blue our eyes looked in the fading light.

Deep into conversation an hour later, I suddenly noticed my energy had dropped. Tuning in, I found a mild headache, stiffening shoulders, and I realized I was shouting.  It was the music. When we arrived, there had been no music other than the fountain and birds. I had vaguely been aware of music starting during our conversation, but it had obviously been turned up louder and louder until now it was at such a volume I had to raise my voice to be heard.

I don’t understand why it is that restaurants, especially outdoor ones, feel they need to create “atmosphere” by cranking up the tunes. Do they feel we’re unable to appreciate the subtle symphony of sounds that happens with soft or no music? Or that distraction is the only way we can enjoy ourselves?

As my husband and I left, retreating to the relative calm of the parking lot, we took a sigh of relief. I started thinking of all the noise pollution we contend with during our day, and how much happens that we don’t even consciously notice – but that our bodies register and react to nonetheless.

Ponder: What are the noises around you at this very moment? Is there a squeaky air conditioner whirring in the background? A barking dog? Rustle of leaves?  Are the noises making you feel more relaxed or more tense? Simply by being aware, we get to choose what our next step is.

I love coaching fitness professionals. Why? Well, I remember the first time that I used a personal trainer. She introduced herself, took a few notes, and then proceeded to march me around the gym like a robot. When I faltered at getting the specified number of reps, she barked “Suck it up – keep going!” When I asked a question, she looked somewhat annoyed before answering. And when I expressed disbelief that I had what it took to reach my fitness goal, she agreed!

Well, I did reach my goal, thank you very much, but it was with another trainer. 

She wasn’t a bad person, she just lacked some key life coaching skills that got in the way of communicating with her clients. So, when I coach with personal trainers, I imagine all the clients who will have better experiences than I did!

The reason I bring this up is that I just had an article published in PFP (Personal Fitness Professional magazine) called “Life Coaching 101.” It feels great to get the word out there about how powerful coaching is, and especially to personal trainers who can really make an impact with this knowledge. What made this project even more fun is that my friend and colleague, Shelby Murphy, took over as editor of the magazine this year, so I got to work with this amazing woman.

If you want to scoop up some life coaching tips for yourself, click here for the fre*e online version my article: http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/rbpublishing/pfp_200809/index.php?startpage=28.) Enjoy!

This summer, I chose not to blog. I made a conscious decision that I would focus on spending time with my two teenage daughters (which I deliciously did) and coaching my existing clients. Come the beginning of school, I told myself, it would be my time to focus on ME, to rev up my business and move in the directions that called to me.

School began, and I happily set off on expanding my coaching business. That is, until last week when my oldest daughter got sick and had to be picked up only minutes before a client appointment. This can’t be, I inwardly railed. I had that line in the sand. Summer – time with the girls. Fall – time for my business. School had started and clearly my daughter hadn’t read the fine print (all in my brain) about how this was supposed to work!

As I drove to school, frustrated at this breech of agreement, it suddenly dawned on me. By setting up my unreasonable expectation (when school starts, it’s time for ME), I had unconsciously become rigid and drawn a line that couldn’t bend with life’s natural circumstances. Not only that, but I realized that my upset was not because I now had to adjust some work plans (my client was fine with the change). My upset was because of my negative thoughts about my plans being changed. Once I realized that, I was able to let go of the negative thought and felt better in an instant.

As you go through your day, notice what expectations you have set up (consciously and unconsciously). What happens when they’re not met? What would happen if you let go of your vision about how something is supposed to happen and instead embrace how it really does happen? Are you willing to trade in your “plan” for a little more peace?

This is our playground, a place to discover where the extraordinary lies within the everyday moments of our lives.

My life is a constant adventure of finding “pearls” in my own backyard. On this blog, you’ll find moments you may recognize within yourself—places where you tend to autopilot and miss out on life, and those delicious moments of awakening to the beauty and joy of life. These moments can happen daily, at any time, and the “ahas” that result are the precious wildflowers strewn on our path.

Whether we’re choosing tomatoes at the local farmer’s stand or sitting in traffic, everything offers an opportunity. As Eckhart Tolle says, “Your inner purpose is to awaken. It is as simple as that. You share that purpose with every other person on the planet—because it is the purpose of humanity.”

So join me—let’s see what pearls we can right now, at this very moment…