There’s something about the sea that seems to call to our deeper essence. Being a writer who loves to read, I of course had to pair our trip to the beach this year with a book to match the mood. Forget Summer in Tuscany or The Glass Castle − I instead brought along a copy of A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson.

In this book, Anderson leaves behind life as she knows it for a year in solitude in their family’s Cape Cod cottage. Although I had family with me and four days instead of a year, I wasn’t going to let that stop me from re-filling my cup, if even just a splash. I was parched and I knew it.

When we arrived, the Texas coast was still spinning from Hurricane Alex, which had hit the weekend before. Instead of blue sky and beach, waves reached all the way to the boardwalk. With no beach to comb and no car to roam (we had borrowed our in-laws van and it had broken down in the line for the island’s ferry), I was forced to begin transitioning from “do” mode to “be” mode.

I spent hours on the balcony, watching the slightly comical and gawky pelicans fly by, inhaling the thick, salty air, and watching the storm clouds changing like a kaleidoscope over the water. My mind slowed as my heart opened.

The weather finally cleared halfway through the trip and we bundled chairs and umbrellas and headed for the thin slice of beach. As the heat increased, I happily melted into my chair with my book, adventuring with Joan as she retrieved the bits of her that had been lost in the shuffle of family and a long-term marriage. Then I’d cool off by floating on an inner tube just beyond the breakers with my 15-year-old daughter, just like I did as a girl, bobbing on the water as clumps of seaweed loofahed my legs. On shore, my oldest daughter giggled as clams tickled her hands, burrowing into the mound of sand she held. My husband shredded layers of work stress like snake-skin as he stood at the water’s edge.

By the time we packed up our coolers and threw sandy clothes into bags the next day, my breathing was deeper. I felt myself touching that inner ocean of creativity I dip into when I write – and live. I could only imagine what a longer trip − and perhaps one by myself − might produce.

So this summer, I invite you to slow down and take your temperature. Are you feeling deeply connected to your inner source of nourishment, or afloat? Has your writing been stalled as the tides of life take you in directions not of your design? Joan Anderson took a year by the sea, I took four days… what about you?

Clients have been asking me about how to best pitch their books in preparation for the Agent’s Conference on June 25-27 in Austin. One of the best answers accidently arrived at my door the other evening…

I’d been in the middle of layering lasagna for dinner when the doorbell rang. Reluctantly, I left my task as my barking dog and I walked to the door. I peeked through the side window and saw a man with a clipboard. Oh no, I thought, a salesperson. I contemplated not answering it, but then I heard laughter and for some reason I opened it.

On the other side was a young man who was working for an environmental organization and was trying to get names for a petition and donations. But he couldn’t stop laughing. When he finally did, he pointed down at our floor mat, which says:

“Haiku #23
Ringing of the bell
Barking sounds behind door
Licker or biter?

Hearing our dog barking at the same time he was reading this haiku had just tickled him. And it was obvious, as our discussion went on, that he was simply a good natured kid who found more to be amused by in life than things to complain about.

Normally I can be pretty hard nosed with door to door salespeople. I have no problem sending them on their way with no contribution from our household. And before I opened the door – especially given that I was in the middle of making dinner – that’s exactly what I had planned to do. But between his laughter and his heart-felt description of the causes he was promoting (nothing felt canned about it), I melted. Before I knew it, I was signing the petition, offering to send letters, and handing him money.

Agents are no different. They may even be saying to themselves that they’ll never take on another book about how to thrive in a challenging marriage again, yet when you appear coming from a space of enthusiasm and good humor, they soften. They rethink. And maybe they even ask for the first 50 pages…

There’s nothing that takes the fun out of writing faster than needing for it to be perfect. Really. We all know the feeling. We’re trying to write something and instead of focusing internally on the message, we start thinking about who will be reading it. Not only who will read it, but what they’ll think about it. Our minds go further and further along this make-believe path (which of course we believe anyway), as if we’re psychic, imagining a random man in an easy chair reading our story, shaking his head, and thinking poor thing, perhaps she should have been a waitress instead…

Often this happens with what I call the “big deal” writing project. That’s the one that, before we’ve even begun, we’ve declared is so important that we become paralyzed and resist beginning. Some “big deal” projects may be those written for big publications, ones in a genre we’re not familiar with, or when the last thing we wrote was graded (unfavorably) years ago by our English teacher.

Even writing this newsletter is a “big deal” project. Why? Because it’s the first one I’ve done with my new business direction. Firsts of anything have the potential to take on this big, scary mantle. I’m wondering if this article should be more personal, or perhaps more “how-to” oriented? If it has the style I want? Blowing it up even bigger is that echo from my parents – first impressions are everything.

Problem is that after a while, we start making everything a big deal project, which means we procrastinate on doing it (who wants the stress!), our writing is stiff (gotta make it perfect!), and we focus so much on what to write that will please others that we lose touch with the essential thing we had to offer in the first place.

Thankfully, I’ve found myself in this position often enough that when I notice the first telltale signs of paralysis, I pause. Then I pay attention to my thoughts. I may catch myself saying “This first newsletter has to meet everyone’s expectations on the planet and be better than Tolstoy.” Hmmm… perhaps a little all or nothing thinking there? Impossible standards? So, once I have awareness of the thoughts running in the background, I can see what’s more realistic. “I am going to create this newsletter from a service-oriented, heart-centered place, and hopefully it will positively affect some of the people who read it.” Period.

I also take a deep breath and get into the present moment.  Right now I’m on my front porch, listening to the far-off shrieks of children playing tag. The wind chimes are ringing softly. I feel a slight tension in my upper back, which I’m breathing into for relaxation. As I move less from a mind spiraling out of control and instead focus inward, I remember the message I’m trying to get across. Pared down, it’s simply this – we are enough, just as is. Our writing is, too.

So, for those of you who have a “big deal” writing project ahead – or for whom every writing project feels like that, including journaling in your pajamas – I offer this. Breathe. Come back to yourself. The more you’re “out there” the less you’re in your truth. When you’re in your truth, people will listen – even if it’s not written “perfectly.” So just begin…

Like many writers, I love to read. The walls lined with books in my house are testament to this (and yes, I still prefer the rough feel of paper to the slickness of a screen for reading). When looking for books to improve my writing, I usually either turn to beautifully written novels, or more practical “how-to” books about writing. The book I’d like to look at here, however, doesn’t fall into either of these categories.

First, a little back-story. The clients I work with aren’t writing vanity books meant to simply make a lot of money. They have a deeper message to share, and one that takes accessing a deeper part of themselves to connect with this message. One place to find tools to help you do this is in “How to Channel Your Higher Self” by Celeste Hamman. In this book, Celeste looks at ways to access and communicate with your “higher self.”

I often advise writers to build a “bridge” between their busy, thinking-oriented lives and their more reflective writing time. This takes us deeper into what we really want to say. In this book, several exercises are ideal for this. One of my favorites is Celeste’s “Opening to Appreciation” exercise. I start by breathing deeply, and then drop down into my heart space. I feel into the warmth and love there (if it’s not immediately accessible, she suggests thinking of puppies or whatever will help you get to that feeling), and then expand it to my whole body and even the environment around me. Then, I note what I appreciate in my life, and after a few more luxurious breaths, I begin writing from a much more heart-based, centered place.

If this book sounds like something you’d like to check out and you’re reading this the week of May 17, you’re in luck! This week, Celeste is also offering a number of bonuses to everyone who orders her book (including a writing ecourse from me!). Go to  Channel Your Higher Self and check it out. Oh yeah, for those who prefer getting information in other ways, along with the book you get fre*e access to an experiential online environment with audio recordings, video presentations and a resource link library.

Meantime, try the appreciation exercise before you write and watch what flows onto your page…

Do you ever have so many great ideas swirling around that it’s hard to keep track of what, or where, they all are? Perhaps there’s a partially written book manuscript in your drawer, a painting languishing on a shelf and great business ideas scattered in your computer files?

Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, are you very good at staying focused on one thing – so focused, in fact, that you dogmatically stick with it and the process is, well, slightly dry and joyless?

If you’re in either of these camps, you’re not alone. As a writing coach, I’ve seen people in both of these spaces (and been in both myself!). The former are frustrated that they just can’t seem to finish what they start, the latter are frustrated that it’s just not fun. There are, however, insights to guide your way.

In HeatherAsh Amara’s’s new book “Sacred Time Management,” she says, “When we have too much intent (focused purpose) running, we get narrow-minded and dogmatic. There is no room for discovery or learning through our mistakes. When we live solely from our creativity, we become ungrounded and scattered. We have lots of ideas, but not the force to manifest them in a concrete manner. It is only when we balance play and focus, discipline and experimentation, intent and creativity, that we possess the ingredients to fully catalyze our blossoming.”

I love this. It so beautifully describes the relationship between the two styles, and what direction will move us towards more balance. In upcoming posts, I’ll explore ways to find this balance. Meantime, awareness is a huge leap – so enjoy flying!

When I read a client’s writing, it’s usually obvious where they were writing it. I don’t mean if they were on a black rock beach in Hawaii or having tea at their daughter’s house. I mean, it’s clear if it was written from the very logical, detail oriented section of the brain that is afraid to make a mistake and gets all rigid when facing the empty page… or if it’s written from a light, joyful space that’s whooshing through the page like bluebirds on a summer’s morning.

People don’t always get that the space they write from is just as important as the words that come out. That’s why I’m especially tickled with the title of Story Circle’s national memoir conference, Stories from the Heart V, held in Austin February 5-7 (http://www.storycircle.org/Conference/ ) I’m excited and honored to be one of the writing coaches selected this year to support conference attendees in “writing from their heart.” When we go deep, we find our authentic voices that we can then share with the world.
I hope you’ll join us – let’s find out what riches await when we loosen the rein on our logical brain and write from vaster spaces…

For someone who loves to write and loves to read, there’s no greater thrill (other than a cold evening, a fire and a good book) than mixing and mingling with other writers. On that count, a recent outing was pure bliss. My husband Charley and I strapped on our tennis shoes, grabbed water bottles and made a day of it at the Texas Book Festival in Austin.

Under balmy 75 degree skies, we traced green pathways around the state capital lined with tents full of books. Friend Jennifer Marine and author of “No One’s the Bitch” told me about her upcoming interview on Dr. Phil’s show, I got some books signed, and we sat in the massive capitol rooms to hear authors speak. Afterwards, we sipped freshly squeezed lemonades while listening to music and cradling our precious book purchases.

A highlight was listening to my favorite author, Elizabeth Berg, speaking about her writing process. She likened it to a “freefall into trust.” She said she never knows where she’s going to end up, but it’s a spiritual process where she simply has faith that what needs to be expressed will make it onto the page. Rather than rigidly plotting her books, she lets everyday miracles speak for themselves on the page.

By the end of the day – and before our jaunt to 6th Street to see revelers in their Halloween costumes – I felt deeply quenched. Writing is a solitary sport, but one so deeply enjoyable we sometimes forget that swapping stories with other writers is a vital part of the package.

Are you ready to launch your writing visions, whether book, blog, or articles? Would you like to tap your inner wisdom and express your true voice? What about taking some much needed time to reflect and rejuvenate – all while taking your writing project to the next level?

If this sounds inviting, then please join us for the Writing Practical Wisdom retreat from 10-1 p.m. on October 10 in Round Rock, Texas. Fee is $45 (includes lunch).

Retreat benefits include:

o Use the “Writing in the Now” method to access more joy and energy as you create juicier, more meaningful writing
o Create a personal writing ritual and intention setting practice
o Get the essence of YOU into your writing
o Use journaling to clarify your thoughts and ideas
o Write effortlessly by tapping your subconscious
o Bring whatever writing project you’re working on, or want to start, and move it forward

For more information or to register, go to Morning Mist Retreats at www.morningmistretreats.org

I spent the past weekend at the annual Agents Conference (http://writersleague.org/events/2009-conf.htm )
in Austin, Texas, one of the best known in the country and a great opportunity to get updated information on the writing/publishing industries and meet agents face-to-face. Here are a few of the tips I picked up:

* Whether you go the “traditional” or “independent” publishing route, you pretty much have to do your own marketing. Because of cost, fewer authors are doing real-time book tours and instead are opting for virtual book tours, where they “stop” at websites and blogs to be interviewed, to blog or to answer reader questions.

* If you are promoting your book or your business, a signature at the bottom of your email is a good start, but don’t stop there. Be sure to update it with fresh information every couple of weeks!

* If you’re “self-publishing” your book, keep the concept and drop the term. The politically correct thing to call it nowadays is “independent publishing.”

* Writing fiction? A couple of the hottest markets are children’s books and young adult fiction.

* One of the interesting parts of the weekend, aside from all the workshops, was the “Coffee Pitch Round Tables.” There, authors had one minute each (with an egg timer at the ready) to “pitch” their book to an agent. At the end of the pitch, they got a yes, send me more information, or not interested. Agents rotated tables, so it was like speed dating between agents and authors!

See you at the conference next year!

I’ve always avoided the rain. Secretly, I’ve really wanted to be like those people in the movies who joyfully run out in the rain, spinning amidst the drops with a blissful look on their faces. Their meaning is clear. They’re really living – the rest of us aren’t. Yet, when it starts to rain, I’m the one quickening my step to get underneath a store overhang, or waiting an extra 10 minutes until it slows before I make a dash for my car. My husband scoffs and makes comments about how no one melts in the rain, but frankly I’ve never seen him out there blissfully spinning circles, either.

All that changed this year on my birthday. I was up early and in the mood for a solitary walk, so I flipped open the shutters to check on the weather. It looked ominous. Still, I figured I could be out and back before the weather changed. I grabbed my umbrella, left the dog behind (it was MY birthday, after all, not his) and started out.

Halfway through, a few fat raindrops plunked on my bare arms, so I took preventative steps and put up my umbrella. Before long it was pouring and I was looking for a tree to dive under. Then I caught a smell. This was something I hadn’t smelled in awhile. It was rich, composty, some sort of mix of worms and flowers. I inhaled. I looked down and saw the water flowing down the side of the road with brown leaf boats racing along. I joined them, running beside the quick flowing water to see who would win. A few giggles burst out, and I was glad everyone was tucked into their houses and couldn’t see me slipping and dancing down the street.

The fabric of my pants clung to my bare skin as the staccato assault continued. I didn’t care. It was almost as if I could taste Spring. I wasn’t watching it out my window, it was baptizing me.

By the time my husband swung by in the car, pushing open the door to offer me a dry ride home, I was hooked. I smiled and waved him on. The unwrapping of this birthday gift was too decadent to hurry along…

Pearls for Writers: What is something that you avoid, thinking that it will be unpleasant, rather than diving in and experiencing the truth of it in the moment? Pick something and try it out. Then write…