What Does Your Productivity Boss Look Like?

March 4th, 2014

Have you ever had one of those moments where everyone is singing or talking loudly, and then they stop but you keep going until that mortifying moment when you realize you are the only one making noise, and everyone is staring?

Of course, I just mean this theoretically, that’s never happened to ME.

But anyway, another version of the story is all the different voices we have in our head – the critic, the perfectionist, the cheerleader, etc. And when they all quiet down except one… well, it’s pretty easy to spot.

Yesterday, while I was pouring a cup of spicy chai tea, I noticed a tightness in my stomach and an uneasy feeling. Things were quiet… quiet enough that I actually heard a voice that often gets lost in the din. While I was hoping to sit and relax with a cup of tea, there was a voice that was actively opposing my plan. “You’re not doing enough,” he rasped. “In fact, YOU are not enough.”

Ouch.

When I looked closer, the signs were unmistakable. It was my Productivity Boss.

He has a certain set of preferences. I should be doing things that make money, that look good, that were written in my planner for that day or that are done at a gallop. Or, as Stephen Covey would say, those in the category of “urgent, but not necessarily important.”

So when I slowed down, he filled me with a sort of aching anxiety as he fretted in the background with these doom and gloom prophesies and visions of living in the streets just around the corner (no one can accuse him of being apathetic in his proclamations – perhaps Shakespearean theater would be a better outlet for him).

I paused, I breathed, and then I did one of the things my Productivity Boss hates most. I did a reality check.

The past week I have been doing a healthy eating cleanse. What this meant was a lot more time around food – hours spent shopping, chopping vegetables, sautéing, cleaning, spicing, etc.

This is a strong value for me – I want to bring even cleaner eating into my life so I can increase energy and focus for the things that matter. Problem is, that means little to my inner Productivity Boss.

I looked back on my day. True, I had not spent as much time in the office and had not written like I’d meant to. Five points to Productivity Boss. On the other hand, I had spent that time grocery shopping and prepping a healthy lunch. I had spent 10 minutes stretching. I had taken a walk and gotten some interesting business ideas. And so far as I could see, my life was NOT going to hell in a hand basket, despite his sputtering.

What I realized is that he’s just there to keep the status quo, and when I’m running around unconsciously following his direction, I feel overwhelmed as if I’m never doing enough.

But when I can breathe, see him for the misguided little man he is, maybe even give him a virtual margarita and send him to a beach chair, then I can move forward with MY version of productive and creative living. It feels so much saner. He may pout, but I am the one who is gleeful.

I’d love to hear the signals that your Productivity Boss is wreaking havoc in the background. How do you know he’s there (words, a body sensation?), and how do you diffuse him? Please share your thoughts  below in the Reply box …

 

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and a link to Carolyn’s website. www.backyardpearls.com

Carolyn Scarborough is a professionally trained creativity and writing coach. As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, she helps coaches and heart-based entrepreneurs to unblock their creativity so they can connect with and express what’s deeply meaningful to them. She leads retreats, telecourses and does private coaching with new writers, experienced writers, and those who simply need a creativity boost to launch business and writing projects.  She is the author of “Backyard Pearls: Cultivating Wisdom and Joy in Everyday Life,” and is an award-winning magazine writer who has published more than 500 articles in publications around the world.

Request your complimentary “Tapping into your Inner Wisdom” session here.

Seeing With the Eyes of a Poet

January 19th, 2014

As I sat in the hotel room bathtub, all I could think about was the perfect storm of “cough-pocolypse.”

A month ago, when my husband and I booked two seats to hear poet David Whyte speak in San Antonio, it seemed like an inspiring idea and a fun road trip.

Then life happened.

Over the holidays my husband got the flu, and I got the cold that, when sung in my head to the Lamb Chop tune, went “This is the cold that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends…”

Both of us had been feeling slightly better for a few days, however, so off we went.

During Whyte’s presentation, I kept trying to suppress a cough that blurted out during the most poetic lines, and by the time I got in bed, the coughing really began. I spent hours alternating between sitting in the bathroom breathing in steam from the shower and sitting straight up in bed. Whatever I did, it felt like a fiery hot nail was scratching down my throat.

The next morning, after finally getting a few hours of sleep, I got up and all I could think about was how we shouldn’t have come on the trip. I berated myself that I should have packed better medicine. I shouldn’t have had the diet Coke at dinner because the caffeine kept me awake. The hotel air was too dry and if I’d stayed home it wouldn’t have been so bad. I had created the perfect storm.

Finally, trying to reach for something that felt better, I dropped a bath bomb into the hotel tub, made some tea and plopped in… as I continued my dramatic replay.

And then it hit me. By spending time in my head on the perfect storm of the past 24 hours, I was missing the perfect storm of the present moment. There was the shiny silver of the bath fixtures sweating with moisture. The faint lemony smell of the bath bomb. The warmth of the tea as it surfed across my tongue and down my throat. I realized that poet David Whyte didn’t get his inspiration from replaying old stories in his head while he was in the middle of a different moment. His poetry came from full presence.

Suddenly my robotic story melted away, and I all I could feel was relief washing over me. As I sighed in the tub, I let in a little more freedom, and a lot more peace.

Afterwards, when I looked out the hotel window with a clear mind, what had looked like barren fields the day before now looked like a straw colored paradise, like the field I built forts in as a child. Colors felt brighter, appreciation coursed through me. My cold hadn’t changed, but my eyes had changed…

I’d love to hear your comments on the article, what pearls you notice when you begin reflecting. Please share your thoughts  below in the Reply box …

 

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and a link to Carolyn’s website. www.backyardpearls.com

Carolyn Scarborough is a professionally trained creativity and writing coach. As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, she helps coaches and heart-based entrepreneurs to unblock their creativity so they can connect with and express what’s deeply meaningful to them. She leads retreats, telecourses and does private coaching with new writers, experienced writers, and those who simply need a creativity boost to launch business and writing projects.  She is the author of “Backyard Pearls: Cultivating Wisdom and Joy in Everyday Life,” and is an award-winning magazine writer who has published more than 500 articles in publications around the world.

Request your complimentary “Tapping into your Inner Wisdom” session here.

Finding Your Quotable Self

November 26th, 2013

I use quotes a lot. When I wrote my Backyard Pearls book, I started each chapter with a quote. I read quotes in my writing process teleclasses. I have whole files of quotes categorized by topic on my computer.

So when I started creating the schedule for my next writing retreat, of course I began looking for quotes for just that dash of inspiration.

Only this time, a strange thing happened. The more I tried to find someone to authoritatively and poetically capture what I wanted to say, the more I found myself getting a headache, feeling stressed out, and floating farther and farther away from the process.

As I stuffed my brain with words, I moved out of my flowing creative mode and into driven research mode.

Suddenly, looking through past notes, I found it. The perfect quote. Who had written this gem, I wondered. It didn’t have a name beside it? As I scanned the page to find the author, suddenly I realized who it was. Me.

This quote was simply an “aha” I had had and typed on a page along with a lot of other thoughts. That’s when it hit me. I had been so busy looking for other people’s wisdom, I hadn’t stopped to hear my own.

Author Parker J. Palmer talks about how at workshops, we take the most notes on what the leader says, and few if any on what we ourselves are thinking or saying. Somehow we see the speaker as knowing the answers, yet in reality it is in listening to our own souls speak that we find our clearest truth.

Recently I was at a fundraiser gala where I ran into an old friend who works at a hospice center. She said she had been preparing an inspirational prayer every week for the employees, and that she typically read passages from favorite books. But then she decided to try something new. For the past month, she had been writing the prayers herself. She shared that it had been more time consuming, but that her feeling of joy and self-satisfaction far outweighed the lost time. She was hooked… on expressing her own words.

This is a pivotal step for all of us. To hear what others say… but to listen even more deeply to what we say. To hang onto our every word as if a great expert were speaking, which she is…

Questions for Reflection:

  • Find something that you’ve written, choose a few sentences, and put quotation marks around them. Then, add your name to the end. How does that feel? What thoughts come up?
  • Where have you chosen to listen to others wisdom where you’d be better served listening to your own?

I’d love to hear your comments on the article, what pearls you notice when you begin reflecting. Please share your thoughts  below in the Reply box …

 

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and a link to Carolyn’s website. www.backyardpearls.com

Carolyn Scarborough is a professionally trained creativity and writing coach. As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, she helps coaches and heart-based entrepreneurs to unblock their creativity so they can connect with and express what’s deeply meaningful to them. She leads retreats, telecourses and does private coaching with new writers, experienced writers, and those who simply need a creativity boost to launch business and writing projects.  She is the author of “Backyard Pearls: Cultivating Wisdom and Joy in Everyday Life,” and is an award-winning magazine writer who has published more than 500 articles in publications around the world.

Request your complimentary “Tapping into your Inner Wisdom” session here.

Writing is Messy

October 9th, 2013

The other day I was sitting in a discussion group when a woman walked in wearing a pale pink “Life is Good” t shirt. She seemed in a good mood… until suddenly she looked down and realized that there were food stains on her shirt. Mortified, she started making excuses, saying that she always left home with clean shirts, she didn’t know where those stains had come from, and how embarrassing.

We all smiled at her in sympathy, and then the group facilitator summed it up in one sentence. “You could replace the words ‘Life is Good,’” he said, “with the words ‘Life is Messy.’” We all sighed in recognition, and the class continued..

Not only is that true, but it’s something to be embraced rather than avoided. Life is messy! So is writing, work, relationships, you name it.

So often writers I work with are trying hard for the perfect, non-messy way to compose a blog or book. They want to start writing, follow in a linear fashion, come to the end and then publish it.

How boring.

But writing is more like a paint jar. We dip in, we get different colors on our fingers, we are not sure what the final picture is that we are creating but we have faith so we carry on. It gets messy. It gets exciting. It gets dull. The process is like, well, life!

We can stay linear and without the splats here and there if we choose. We can keep the writing so small and controlled that we never step outside the lines. The only problem is that we have to shrink it to the size that we can control. Which makes it very, very small indeed. When we write it we feel contracted; when people read it they shift uncomfortably in their seats.

I started this newsletter on a completely different topic. One I even felt passionate about. Yet as I swung through the jungle of words testing different ropes to climb into my story, I found that none of them held. I dropped onto the ground each time with a gentle thud and grass stains on my butt. But I knew that if I kept swinging, eventually I’d get there. If I was willing to be messy, my point would arrive with a flourish and some ketchup on its collar.

So let’s step out into our writing and lives willing to be messy, to experiment, to try out that place where “Life is good AND messy.” What does that feel like? I think I’ll squirt some cheeze whiz on a cracker and find out…

Pearls for reflection …

  • How do you try to control your writing process?
  • Does it work?
  • What do you fear will happen if you don’t completely control it
  • Visualize a “messy but directed” way of writing – what comes up?

I’d love to hear your comments on the article, what pearls you notice when you begin reflecting. Please share your thoughts  below in the Reply box …

And just a quick announcement … It’s been more than a year since I’ve offered a writing retreat, and after many loving requests from past participants, the next retreat will be Saturday, November 2, 2013! Find out more and join us if you are ready to get “messy”.

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and a link to Carolyn’s website. www.backyardpearls.com

Carolyn Scarborough is a professionally trained creativity and writing coach. As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, she helps coaches and heart-based entrepreneurs to unblock their creativity so they can connect with and express what’s deeply meaningful to them. She leads retreats, telecourses and does private coaching with new writers, experienced writers, and those who simply need a creativity boost to launch business and writing projects.  She is the author of “Backyard Pearls: Cultivating Wisdom and Joy in Everyday Life,” and is an award-winning magazine writer who has published more than 500 articles in publications around the world.

Request your complimentary “Tapping into your Inner Wisdom” session here.

Going from Dreaming It to Doing It

July 9th, 2013

It’s rather predictable. When I coach people, everyone gets off to a flying start. After a session or so, a massive amount of energy is released and they are giddy about their process, writing when they’ve been blocked for years or spinning out poetry when all they’ve ever done is technical writing.

It’s heady stuff… until it isn’t.

Somewhere along the way, they get hit with an intense case of the jitters. Where before they had clarity, now they’re confused; where they were sailing along in creative flow, now they’re mired in self-doubt.

As they tell me this, all I do is smile. I knew it was coming. It’s stodgy old “grandma” ego.

Now there are lots of hip grandmas out there skydiving, wearing purple and living life to the fullest. And then there are those who have been set in their ways for far too long. Their only goal in life is staying safe and comfortable as they scan the horizon for imminent disaster. These are the ones akin to our ego.

Typically, overprotective grandma ego clucks a bit and wags her finger as you imagine your big dreams, but she doesn’t go much further.

But on that day when you stop simply imagining that motorcycle ride across the U.S. and instead buy the bike and jangle the keys in front of her, she goes nuts. When it was only talk, she just sent mild warnings. Now that it’s imminent, she does what set-in-her-way grandma does – she tries to protect you with over the top warnings. “You’ll get mowed over if you get out on that death trap!” she hisses. “A gang of Harley thugs might kidnap you!”

Irrational, yes, but she believes every word of it.

What does this have to do with writing? The ego, like our doting grandmother, is all about protecting you. It doesn’t understand risk, or creative exhilaration, or big visions. It has one job – to keep you safe.

When we actually start taking creative risks, the initial energy feels amazing. And then our ego, realizing we are serious, has a panic attack and steps in to try to quash this “irresponsible” behavior.”

At this point, often we quit. What had seemed like a brilliant idea now seems stupid. Everything feels daunting. Yet all it takes is seeing through grandma’s ruses; staying with our soul’s vision rather than our ego’s vision. One leads us to creative fulfillment; the other to a very safe and soul deadening existence.

So next time self-doubt grips you, don’t take grandma’s cane and beat yourself up with it. Instead run with it, dance with it, and use it to vault yourself even higher.

Pearls for dealing with your Ego…

  • When you are starting a project and stodgy grandma ego comes calling, celebrate yourself! She is getting louder because she realizes you’re serious. You’ve gotten off the couch and you’re getting into action. That’s cause for a toast!
  • Have a writing dialog with her. Ask what she’s afraid of, and what she needs to settle down.
  • When you hear her voice, caricature it. Make it sound like a very cross, crotchety lady, something cartoonish, so you can see how unreal it really is.
  • Get support. When you realize you’ve been stuck in the same place for a while, call a friend or a coach who can offer perspectives from outside your ego’s blind spot.

I’d love to hear your comments on the article, what pearls you notice when you begin reflecting. Please share your thoughts  below in the Reply box …

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and a link to Carolyn’s website. www.backyardpearls.com

Carolyn Scarborough is a professionally trained creativity and writing coach. As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, she helps coaches and heart-based entrepreneurs to unblock their creativity so they can connect with and express what’s deeply meaningful to them. She leads retreats, telecourses and does private coaching with new writers, experienced writers, and those who simply need a creativity boost to launch business and writing projects.  She is the author of “Backyard Pearls: Cultivating Wisdom and Joy in Everyday Life,” and is an award-winning magazine writer who has published more than 500 articles in publications around the world.

Request your complimentary “Tapping into your Inner Wisdom” session here.