I’m not quite sure when it hit me. Was it when I was floating on my back in the bright Mediterranean Sea? Or perhaps sitting on the roof of my cousin’s house in Crete, laughing and eating as the moon rose over the mountains? Maybe it was listening to the chanting of the priest in an ancient monastery as frankincense swirled around us.

Somewhere during our magical trip to Crete this summer, I re-connected with something I had lost. I’m still in the process of sorting out what it was and what it means, but it has washed over me and won’t let go (in a good way).

In the busy-ness of life, it’s easy to forget such things. It’s easy to forget the scent that reminds you of careening down a slide and landing in the dust with a happy plop. Or the first time you saw the vastness of an ocean. Or even what makes you laugh so hard you get a little woozy.

This is why I write. Because sometimes the pace of life lures me in and I charge forward using my brain all day and forgetting what I know. Yet when I sit down and reach out for words, I have to go down the passageway of the heart to find the right ones. The ones that don’t ring hollow, or chirpy, or of anything that isn’t as close as I can get to truth in the moment. Sometimes I sit for an hour, asking “Is it true” for everything I write and keep answering no, no, no and feeling like time is wasting and I’d rather be doing anything else and then poof, up pops truth.

So I am retrieving. In my writing, in my life. As I sit here and write this, I’m looking at our new entry table with the face of the Greek god Apollo on it, wreathed in flowers and a golden lyre. I chuckle whenever I see it because it reminds me of decorating right out of the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” It was purchased as a reminder of my Greek heritage, and it’s the shape and size of the stones that press olive oil, just like my papou did many years ago in the small village where we spent part of the summer.

The writing I love most are the words that are connected to my essence. You know, that thing we lose sight of when we don’t take time to pause. Because really, it doesn’t matter if you go to Greece or your own backyard. It’s about remembering who you are, and then carrying that with you whether you are writing or taking out the trash. Or dancing on the roof…

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable.

She’s done almost every kind of writing imaginable, including magazine features, newspaper columns, books, journaling — even ghostwriting for Donald Trump! Her favorite sort of writing is the kind where she has to be really present to find the story, so her life and writing are both a constant awakening to a deeper, richer way to live in the world.

To subscribe to Backyard Pearls Newsletter, visit the site here.

Request your complimentary “Getting to Know You” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough, The Book Whisperer, helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

A good friend of mine is doing something most people only dream of – she’s taking almost two months away from her entrepreneurial business for a writing sabbatical. When I mention this to people, they usually gasp and proclaim they could never do that. But when I really look at what it takes to successfully do this – whether a two month sabbatical like hers or even a writing weekend – it all boils down to two things… boundaries and limits.

Boundaries are letting others know where the line is, and limits are how far you will or won’t go. For instance, when I suggested a short coaching session during her sabbatical, she immediately said no. Her boundary was clear. Yet she did it in such a loving, intentional way that I didn’t take it personally. Far from it, I respected her more. She knows that it’s all those little “exceptions” we make that eventually put a big dent in our plans.

On the other hand, I too had limits set for my summer, which included minimizing the number of new clients I’d take and the workshops I’d do. While I was successful on some fronts, I wasn’t on others. I realized that, rather than making a firm commitment, I’d made a hazy intention. I hadn’t gotten full clarity on why this was important to me, and what I stood to lose by not holding firm.

That’s where many of us stall. We aren’t clear in the first place, so when those boundary shifters appear, we waffle. Soon the thought, “Well, maybe this one time” starts creeping in and before we know it, we’ve lost sight of what was truly important to us and are dancing to other people’s tunes and feeling resentful. No one is perfect with this, but the quicker we can catch it, the better.

I’ve also discovered that boundaries are not walls. A wall is sitting down to write and not making exceptions… ever.  But as author John Lee says, “The emotionally intelligent adult can easily set boundaries and limits that can be pulled in, extended, or shifted based on new information, more experience, or choice.” As I’ve been writing this newsletter, my daughter popped her head out the door to where I’m sitting on the front porch and belted out a song. It was a fun two minute break, so I chose “yes” to it, and when it was over I went back to work. Had my wall been up, an automatic “no” would have been there and I would have missed that feel-good break and possibly regretted it later. Had my wall been non-existent, I would have not only heard her sing, but would have answered the phone, gotten side-tracked with Facebook and taken our exercise-deprived dog for a walk.

What I’ve discovered about boundaries and limits is that I have to start with clarity – really understanding my own needs and desires. I also have to give myself permission to have these wants in the first place, and then to follow them. Far from limiting our possibilities, boundaries and limits expand them. We release distractions and focus more clearly on that inner voice that knows our greater good. As I write this, I’m already envisioning for myself a full month off in late summer to travel, recharge and spend time with family. There’s nothing so freeing as a good boundary or two…

Writing Pearls

1. What is an area that’s important to you, in writing or life, where you’d like to see more progress but have instead been feeling frustration?

2. Where are other people crossing the line or where are you overextending yourself to the degree that it doesn’t feel good?

3. Notice this without judgment. Then, decide what boundaries and limits would better serve you?

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable.

She’s done almost every kind of writing imaginable, including magazine features, newspaper columns, books, journaling — even ghostwriting for Donald Trump! Her favorite sort of writing is the kind where she has to be really present to find the story, so her life and writing are both a constant awakening to a deeper, richer way to live in the world.

To subscribe to Backyard Pearls Newsletter, visit the site here.

Request your complimentary “Getting to Know You” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough, The Book Whisperer, helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

Have you ever had one of those days where you just didn’t wake up feeling great? Last week I got up and my shoulders were stiff and achy and I felt “blah.” However, it was a beautiful day and I had promised my husband and daughter that we’d do a big day hike, so immediately a voice in my head started in. Get over it, the voice said. You’ll never enjoy a day hiking in this mood. Pep up! Get with the program!

And the more the voice continued, the more tired I got. In fact, I had just woken up an hour earlier and a nap already sounded good! Instead, I decided to do a few minutes of journaling and see what came up. About three minutes into writing, I recognized the voice that was ruining my peace. It was the one that says I need to be “up” all the time, part of the team, ready to go. I’ve never been a cheerleader, but it had that peppy “let’s go” attitude… only with a sharp tone.

As soon as I recognized it, I realized that what I really needed was compassion, not marching orders. I gave myself permission to feel tired and grumpy. Permission to go on a hike not being my “best” self. As soon as I did that, my energy began to rise… and it stayed high the rest of the day.

This is where journaling can be so powerful. So often we power through signals we’re getting that something needs to shift. Journaling is a way of slowing us down long enough to listen. We get to process what’s going on and extract the wisdom, rather than hurtling forward without gathering the gifts along the way.

These are a few of my favorite journaling techniques…

• Question technique. I ask a question, such as “Why am I feeling so tired?” then breathe deeply and wait for answers to float up.
• Fear splat. I quickly write everything that I’m currently worried about, from the small to the large. This includes everything from health concerns to my pants not fitting. Nothing is too trivial…
• Dialoging. I have a conversation with some issue that’s “hot” for me at the time. Perhaps I’ll dialog with my perfectionist side on why she’s not wanting me to begin a book. Or I’ll dialog with my writer’s block or with a part of my body that is aching for mysterious reasons. You can dialog with anything, even your big toe!

So next time something is awry, consider taking to the page rather than immediately moving forward. Watch things shift as you take the time to be with your perfectly imperfect self…

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable.

She’s done almost every kind of writing imaginable, including magazine features, newspaper columns, books, journaling — even ghostwriting for Donald Trump! Her favorite sort of writing is the kind where she has to be really present to find the story, so her life and writing are both a constant awakening to a deeper, richer way to live in the world.

To subscribe to Backyard Pearls Newsletter, visit the site here.

Request your complimentary “Getting to Know You” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough, The Book Whisperer, helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

by Carolyn Scarborough

“Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” – Mary Oliver

I can’t think of a quote that better sums up the way I love to write and live than these simple seven words by poet Mary Oliver.

Clients are always asking me how to find stories for their newsletters, their blogs, their books. These three lines are a prescription for how to do that – and for a life well lived. Let me give you an example of how this looks:

Pay attention.

Last week I went to a cooking class in a friend’s kitchen. I arrived late, flustered by the traffic and my own challenges with finding new places in the dark. But when I got there, the calming presence of instructor Kate Short brought me into the moment. She was paying attention, which called it forth in me as well. I noticed a group of aproned women all peering into a pot, and walked over to see what the fuss was about. Inside the boiling water, they were watching a handful of seaweed gracefully swaying and expanding in the soup.

Nearby, Kate sliced some gently wiggling tofu, and later showed us how, by dipping our hands into kale salad and crunching the leaves, they took on a brighter, almost florescent hue.

Her attentiveness and reverence for the food before us expanded my view. Never before had I really seen the wrinkly texture of kale, or the way fingers pinched and massaged spices before dropping them into the pot.

But the high point was the giant yellow daikon radish. Its size alone was worth a second look. Then Kate cut it and held a slice up to the light to show us the timorous, perfect sunburst pattern radiating from the middle. Six grown women in their fluffy aprons were elbowing each other for a closer look at this surprising example of natural beauty.

Or maybe it was just me? Did everyone gasp at this? Or only the women in the room who were truly paying attention and by deeply doing so, fell headlong into astonishment?

We can show up in our lives vulnerable and open to being touched by beauty at any moment, or we can walk mindlessly through thinking about how much we spent at the mall yesterday.

Just imagine if we lived more fully in gratitude for the small things around us, from the smell of dark chocolate to the beating of our hearts. Imagine if we were so awake that everything astonished us. And what if we took that and then spoke it, wrote it, sang it – shared the gift with others?

In the words of a wise, awake poet — “Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.”

* * * *

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough, The Book Whisperer, helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable. Request your complimentary “Tapping into your Inner Writing Wisdom” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a client who said they had plenty of time to write. Instead, I hear all those phrases we’re familiar with – and use ourselves. I’m running out of time, I don’t know where the time flew, time is money.

Wouldn’t it be great if time was like… sugar cookies? You need more and you just make them! Well, in a sense time is like that – you just have to know the ingredients.

For instance, last month I was asked to do a presentation on Greece for an elementary school club. The first thing I did (after I enthusiastically said yes I’d do it, and then had a few days to wonder why in the world I had agreed to it) was procrastinate. I had so many other more important things to do, I reasoned, so instead I let that niggling task drain my energy in the background as I did everything BUT sit down and come up with the presentation.

Then, I thought of the quickest, most efficient way to do it so it would take as little “time” as possible out of my day. I’d skip the PowerPoint (I’ll admit, I’d never done one) and pictures, find an “easy fact” guide on the internet, and that would be that.

The day of the presentation, having effectively “run out of time,” I opened the computer and started looking at a few sites. As I did so, I saw a picture of bright red Easter eggs. It immediately took me back to Easters when my mother would die a big vat of red eggs, and we’d have a competition cracking them as we said Greek phrases. I remembered the sweet smell of Greek Easter bread, browned on the top and so soft in the middle. Then I saw a picture of olive trees in Crete, and I was back there riding a donkey through the hills to my relative’s house.

Within an hour the presentation was complete. My daughter showed me how to create a PowerPoint presentation, I plucked off some photos and facts, reeled in some stories from my childhood, and that was that. My young audience was wowed later that day and I had a blast.

So what, you ask, does this have to do with writing? And what are those danged ingredients for expanding time, anyway! There are lots of ways, but here are a few to get you started…

1. Watch the phrases you use. The more you talk about running out of time, the more you are subconsciously programming yourself to do that very thing, whether writing a book or doing a presentation.
2. Find the juice. If you’re plodding along in a novel, what could take 10 minutes will take 10 hours. Stop and find the part you are passionate about (the red eggs, so to speak). Write from there. Or, turn on some loud salsa music, make an enthusiastic fool of yourself in the privacy of your office, and once your energy is flowing channel it towards your writing.
3. Face fears or lack of information head on. When you push them out of view, they are still there and effectively lengthening the amount of time you are in contact with any given project. The more time you spend not dealing with the structural confusion in your memoir, (or learning how to do PowerPoint) the more your energy drains. Instead, list all your fears and information gaps. Be friendly with them. Then consciously choose when and what your next step is to move past them.

So, in the upcoming year, start noticing your relationship with time. Play with ways to expand it. If you want to look deeper into this subject, then join one of my January classes. Meanwhile, start your book or newsletter — remember, there’s no time like the present…

* * * *

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough, The Book Whisperer, helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable. Request your complimentary “Tapping into your Inner Writing Wisdom” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.