by Carolyn Scarborough

“Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” – Mary Oliver

I can’t think of a quote that better sums up the way I love to write and live than these simple seven words by poet Mary Oliver.

Clients are always asking me how to find stories for their newsletters, their blogs, their books. These three lines are a prescription for how to do that – and for a life well lived. Let me give you an example of how this looks:

Pay attention.

Last week I went to a cooking class in a friend’s kitchen. I arrived late, flustered by the traffic and my own challenges with finding new places in the dark. But when I got there, the calming presence of instructor Kate Short brought me into the moment. She was paying attention, which called it forth in me as well. I noticed a group of aproned women all peering into a pot, and walked over to see what the fuss was about. Inside the boiling water, they were watching a handful of seaweed gracefully swaying and expanding in the soup.

Nearby, Kate sliced some gently wiggling tofu, and later showed us how, by dipping our hands into kale salad and crunching the leaves, they took on a brighter, almost florescent hue.

Her attentiveness and reverence for the food before us expanded my view. Never before had I really seen the wrinkly texture of kale, or the way fingers pinched and massaged spices before dropping them into the pot.

But the high point was the giant yellow daikon radish. Its size alone was worth a second look. Then Kate cut it and held a slice up to the light to show us the timorous, perfect sunburst pattern radiating from the middle. Six grown women in their fluffy aprons were elbowing each other for a closer look at this surprising example of natural beauty.

Or maybe it was just me? Did everyone gasp at this? Or only the women in the room who were truly paying attention and by deeply doing so, fell headlong into astonishment?

We can show up in our lives vulnerable and open to being touched by beauty at any moment, or we can walk mindlessly through thinking about how much we spent at the mall yesterday.

Just imagine if we lived more fully in gratitude for the small things around us, from the smell of dark chocolate to the beating of our hearts. Imagine if we were so awake that everything astonished us. And what if we took that and then spoke it, wrote it, sang it – shared the gift with others?

In the words of a wise, awake poet — “Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.”

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You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough, The Book Whisperer, helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable. Request your complimentary “Tapping into your Inner Writing Wisdom” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a client who said they had plenty of time to write. Instead, I hear all those phrases we’re familiar with – and use ourselves. I’m running out of time, I don’t know where the time flew, time is money.

Wouldn’t it be great if time was like… sugar cookies? You need more and you just make them! Well, in a sense time is like that – you just have to know the ingredients.

For instance, last month I was asked to do a presentation on Greece for an elementary school club. The first thing I did (after I enthusiastically said yes I’d do it, and then had a few days to wonder why in the world I had agreed to it) was procrastinate. I had so many other more important things to do, I reasoned, so instead I let that niggling task drain my energy in the background as I did everything BUT sit down and come up with the presentation.

Then, I thought of the quickest, most efficient way to do it so it would take as little “time” as possible out of my day. I’d skip the PowerPoint (I’ll admit, I’d never done one) and pictures, find an “easy fact” guide on the internet, and that would be that.

The day of the presentation, having effectively “run out of time,” I opened the computer and started looking at a few sites. As I did so, I saw a picture of bright red Easter eggs. It immediately took me back to Easters when my mother would die a big vat of red eggs, and we’d have a competition cracking them as we said Greek phrases. I remembered the sweet smell of Greek Easter bread, browned on the top and so soft in the middle. Then I saw a picture of olive trees in Crete, and I was back there riding a donkey through the hills to my relative’s house.

Within an hour the presentation was complete. My daughter showed me how to create a PowerPoint presentation, I plucked off some photos and facts, reeled in some stories from my childhood, and that was that. My young audience was wowed later that day and I had a blast.

So what, you ask, does this have to do with writing? And what are those danged ingredients for expanding time, anyway! There are lots of ways, but here are a few to get you started…

1. Watch the phrases you use. The more you talk about running out of time, the more you are subconsciously programming yourself to do that very thing, whether writing a book or doing a presentation.
2. Find the juice. If you’re plodding along in a novel, what could take 10 minutes will take 10 hours. Stop and find the part you are passionate about (the red eggs, so to speak). Write from there. Or, turn on some loud salsa music, make an enthusiastic fool of yourself in the privacy of your office, and once your energy is flowing channel it towards your writing.
3. Face fears or lack of information head on. When you push them out of view, they are still there and effectively lengthening the amount of time you are in contact with any given project. The more time you spend not dealing with the structural confusion in your memoir, (or learning how to do PowerPoint) the more your energy drains. Instead, list all your fears and information gaps. Be friendly with them. Then consciously choose when and what your next step is to move past them.

So, in the upcoming year, start noticing your relationship with time. Play with ways to expand it. If you want to look deeper into this subject, then join one of my January classes. Meanwhile, start your book or newsletter — remember, there’s no time like the present…

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You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough, The Book Whisperer, helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable. Request your complimentary “Tapping into your Inner Writing Wisdom” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

I had been badgering my daughter all morning to do her homework. Don’t forget, I reminded as she got in the shower. You leave in two hours, I admonished as she picked up her cell phone to answer a text.

Finally, an hour before it was time to leave to meet her friends, she sat down to do some homework. She looked at the paper, she scrunched up her face, she twiddled with her pencil. Nothing. What’s wrong I said, highly annoyed by this time. I can’t concentrate, she said. This homework thing has been looming over my head all morning and I just don’t feel great. Fine, I huffed, and left the room.

Then it dawned on me. I was doing to her exactly what I told my clients NOT to do to themselves.

I tell them all the time that before they move into action, whether writing or any other creative project, it’s important to get into the present moment and to access a “good feeling” place. Why? When we’re truly in the moment, we can source more creative thought versus conditioned thought. Also, when we are feeling good, we’re more productive and can savor what we’re doing more (yes, even homework or cleaning the garage!)

Yet, I had spent an entire morning getting my daughter out of the moment by reminding her of something she had to do later, and had also effectively gotten her in a bad mood. The combination resulted in the same thing it does with my clients – she finally sat down to work and nothing happened.

Even worse, the more I looked, the more I realized that, imperceptibly, my days had shifted. I had – horrors – become task oriented. The very thing that for me leads to a mechanical way of being. I had been moving on the level of “push,” whether for me or those around me. If there’s just enough push, it will all get done, I had unconsciously rationalized. And yes, things did get done – but not as creatively, efficiently or happily.

So this morning I began shifting back into the way of being that serves me. Rather than starting the day jumping into my tasks, I relaxed with my tea and then took a long walk. During the walk, I released thoughts. I left some in the neighbors yard, some floated up into the blue sky, some attached to the leaves on the trees. I let them fly from my brain, leaving it more spacious and open. As I did this, great writing ideas (what I had planned to “push” myself to find at my desk at home) just flowed in.

As for my daughter, she went out that afternoon with her friends, and when she came home, in a good mood, she started in on her homework and it flowed easily for her. She was happy, I was happy, and we both learned a lot more than what was due in class on Monday morning.

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You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough, The Book Whisperer, helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable. Request your complimentary “Tapping into your Inner Writing Wisdom” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

There’s something about the sea that seems to call to our deeper essence. Being a writer who loves to read, I of course had to pair our trip to the beach this year with a book to match the mood. Forget Summer in Tuscany or The Glass Castle − I instead brought along a copy of A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson.

In this book, Anderson leaves behind life as she knows it for a year in solitude in their family’s Cape Cod cottage. Although I had family with me and four days instead of a year, I wasn’t going to let that stop me from re-filling my cup, if even just a splash. I was parched and I knew it.

When we arrived, the Texas coast was still spinning from Hurricane Alex, which had hit the weekend before. Instead of blue sky and beach, waves reached all the way to the boardwalk. With no beach to comb and no car to roam (we had borrowed our in-laws van and it had broken down in the line for the island’s ferry), I was forced to begin transitioning from “do” mode to “be” mode.

I spent hours on the balcony, watching the slightly comical and gawky pelicans fly by, inhaling the thick, salty air, and watching the storm clouds changing like a kaleidoscope over the water. My mind slowed as my heart opened.

The weather finally cleared halfway through the trip and we bundled chairs and umbrellas and headed for the thin slice of beach. As the heat increased, I happily melted into my chair with my book, adventuring with Joan as she retrieved the bits of her that had been lost in the shuffle of family and a long-term marriage. Then I’d cool off by floating on an inner tube just beyond the breakers with my 15-year-old daughter, just like I did as a girl, bobbing on the water as clumps of seaweed loofahed my legs. On shore, my oldest daughter giggled as clams tickled her hands, burrowing into the mound of sand she held. My husband shredded layers of work stress like snake-skin as he stood at the water’s edge.

By the time we packed up our coolers and threw sandy clothes into bags the next day, my breathing was deeper. I felt myself touching that inner ocean of creativity I dip into when I write – and live. I could only imagine what a longer trip − and perhaps one by myself − might produce.

So this summer, I invite you to slow down and take your temperature. Are you feeling deeply connected to your inner source of nourishment, or afloat? Has your writing been stalled as the tides of life take you in directions not of your design? Joan Anderson took a year by the sea, I took four days… what about you?

There’s nothing that takes the fun out of writing faster than needing for it to be perfect. Really. We all know the feeling. We’re trying to write something and instead of focusing internally on the message, we start thinking about who will be reading it. Not only who will read it, but what they’ll think about it. Our minds go further and further along this make-believe path (which of course we believe anyway), as if we’re psychic, imagining a random man in an easy chair reading our story, shaking his head, and thinking poor thing, perhaps she should have been a waitress instead…

Often this happens with what I call the “big deal” writing project. That’s the one that, before we’ve even begun, we’ve declared is so important that we become paralyzed and resist beginning. Some “big deal” projects may be those written for big publications, ones in a genre we’re not familiar with, or when the last thing we wrote was graded (unfavorably) years ago by our English teacher.

Even writing this newsletter is a “big deal” project. Why? Because it’s the first one I’ve done with my new business direction. Firsts of anything have the potential to take on this big, scary mantle. I’m wondering if this article should be more personal, or perhaps more “how-to” oriented? If it has the style I want? Blowing it up even bigger is that echo from my parents – first impressions are everything.

Problem is that after a while, we start making everything a big deal project, which means we procrastinate on doing it (who wants the stress!), our writing is stiff (gotta make it perfect!), and we focus so much on what to write that will please others that we lose touch with the essential thing we had to offer in the first place.

Thankfully, I’ve found myself in this position often enough that when I notice the first telltale signs of paralysis, I pause. Then I pay attention to my thoughts. I may catch myself saying “This first newsletter has to meet everyone’s expectations on the planet and be better than Tolstoy.” Hmmm… perhaps a little all or nothing thinking there? Impossible standards? So, once I have awareness of the thoughts running in the background, I can see what’s more realistic. “I am going to create this newsletter from a service-oriented, heart-centered place, and hopefully it will positively affect some of the people who read it.” Period.

I also take a deep breath and get into the present moment.  Right now I’m on my front porch, listening to the far-off shrieks of children playing tag. The wind chimes are ringing softly. I feel a slight tension in my upper back, which I’m breathing into for relaxation. As I move less from a mind spiraling out of control and instead focus inward, I remember the message I’m trying to get across. Pared down, it’s simply this – we are enough, just as is. Our writing is, too.

So, for those of you who have a “big deal” writing project ahead – or for whom every writing project feels like that, including journaling in your pajamas – I offer this. Breathe. Come back to yourself. The more you’re “out there” the less you’re in your truth. When you’re in your truth, people will listen – even if it’s not written “perfectly.” So just begin…