There’s something about the sea that seems to call to our deeper essence. Being a writer who loves to read, I of course had to pair our trip to the beach this year with a book to match the mood. Forget Summer in Tuscany or The Glass Castle − I instead brought along a copy of A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson.

In this book, Anderson leaves behind life as she knows it for a year in solitude in their family’s Cape Cod cottage. Although I had family with me and four days instead of a year, I wasn’t going to let that stop me from re-filling my cup, if even just a splash. I was parched and I knew it.

When we arrived, the Texas coast was still spinning from Hurricane Alex, which had hit the weekend before. Instead of blue sky and beach, waves reached all the way to the boardwalk. With no beach to comb and no car to roam (we had borrowed our in-laws van and it had broken down in the line for the island’s ferry), I was forced to begin transitioning from “do” mode to “be” mode.

I spent hours on the balcony, watching the slightly comical and gawky pelicans fly by, inhaling the thick, salty air, and watching the storm clouds changing like a kaleidoscope over the water. My mind slowed as my heart opened.

The weather finally cleared halfway through the trip and we bundled chairs and umbrellas and headed for the thin slice of beach. As the heat increased, I happily melted into my chair with my book, adventuring with Joan as she retrieved the bits of her that had been lost in the shuffle of family and a long-term marriage. Then I’d cool off by floating on an inner tube just beyond the breakers with my 15-year-old daughter, just like I did as a girl, bobbing on the water as clumps of seaweed loofahed my legs. On shore, my oldest daughter giggled as clams tickled her hands, burrowing into the mound of sand she held. My husband shredded layers of work stress like snake-skin as he stood at the water’s edge.

By the time we packed up our coolers and threw sandy clothes into bags the next day, my breathing was deeper. I felt myself touching that inner ocean of creativity I dip into when I write – and live. I could only imagine what a longer trip − and perhaps one by myself − might produce.

So this summer, I invite you to slow down and take your temperature. Are you feeling deeply connected to your inner source of nourishment, or afloat? Has your writing been stalled as the tides of life take you in directions not of your design? Joan Anderson took a year by the sea, I took four days… what about you?

Clients have been asking me about how to best pitch their books in preparation for the Agent’s Conference on June 25-27 in Austin. One of the best answers accidently arrived at my door the other evening…

I’d been in the middle of layering lasagna for dinner when the doorbell rang. Reluctantly, I left my task as my barking dog and I walked to the door. I peeked through the side window and saw a man with a clipboard. Oh no, I thought, a salesperson. I contemplated not answering it, but then I heard laughter and for some reason I opened it.

On the other side was a young man who was working for an environmental organization and was trying to get names for a petition and donations. But he couldn’t stop laughing. When he finally did, he pointed down at our floor mat, which says:

“Haiku #23
Ringing of the bell
Barking sounds behind door
Licker or biter?

Hearing our dog barking at the same time he was reading this haiku had just tickled him. And it was obvious, as our discussion went on, that he was simply a good natured kid who found more to be amused by in life than things to complain about.

Normally I can be pretty hard nosed with door to door salespeople. I have no problem sending them on their way with no contribution from our household. And before I opened the door – especially given that I was in the middle of making dinner – that’s exactly what I had planned to do. But between his laughter and his heart-felt description of the causes he was promoting (nothing felt canned about it), I melted. Before I knew it, I was signing the petition, offering to send letters, and handing him money.

Agents are no different. They may even be saying to themselves that they’ll never take on another book about how to thrive in a challenging marriage again, yet when you appear coming from a space of enthusiasm and good humor, they soften. They rethink. And maybe they even ask for the first 50 pages…

There’s nothing that takes the fun out of writing faster than needing for it to be perfect. Really. We all know the feeling. We’re trying to write something and instead of focusing internally on the message, we start thinking about who will be reading it. Not only who will read it, but what they’ll think about it. Our minds go further and further along this make-believe path (which of course we believe anyway), as if we’re psychic, imagining a random man in an easy chair reading our story, shaking his head, and thinking poor thing, perhaps she should have been a waitress instead…

Often this happens with what I call the “big deal” writing project. That’s the one that, before we’ve even begun, we’ve declared is so important that we become paralyzed and resist beginning. Some “big deal” projects may be those written for big publications, ones in a genre we’re not familiar with, or when the last thing we wrote was graded (unfavorably) years ago by our English teacher.

Even writing this newsletter is a “big deal” project. Why? Because it’s the first one I’ve done with my new business direction. Firsts of anything have the potential to take on this big, scary mantle. I’m wondering if this article should be more personal, or perhaps more “how-to” oriented? If it has the style I want? Blowing it up even bigger is that echo from my parents – first impressions are everything.

Problem is that after a while, we start making everything a big deal project, which means we procrastinate on doing it (who wants the stress!), our writing is stiff (gotta make it perfect!), and we focus so much on what to write that will please others that we lose touch with the essential thing we had to offer in the first place.

Thankfully, I’ve found myself in this position often enough that when I notice the first telltale signs of paralysis, I pause. Then I pay attention to my thoughts. I may catch myself saying “This first newsletter has to meet everyone’s expectations on the planet and be better than Tolstoy.” Hmmm… perhaps a little all or nothing thinking there? Impossible standards? So, once I have awareness of the thoughts running in the background, I can see what’s more realistic. “I am going to create this newsletter from a service-oriented, heart-centered place, and hopefully it will positively affect some of the people who read it.” Period.

I also take a deep breath and get into the present moment.  Right now I’m on my front porch, listening to the far-off shrieks of children playing tag. The wind chimes are ringing softly. I feel a slight tension in my upper back, which I’m breathing into for relaxation. As I move less from a mind spiraling out of control and instead focus inward, I remember the message I’m trying to get across. Pared down, it’s simply this – we are enough, just as is. Our writing is, too.

So, for those of you who have a “big deal” writing project ahead – or for whom every writing project feels like that, including journaling in your pajamas – I offer this. Breathe. Come back to yourself. The more you’re “out there” the less you’re in your truth. When you’re in your truth, people will listen – even if it’s not written “perfectly.” So just begin…

When I read a client’s writing, it’s usually obvious where they were writing it. I don’t mean if they were on a black rock beach in Hawaii or having tea at their daughter’s house. I mean, it’s clear if it was written from the very logical, detail oriented section of the brain that is afraid to make a mistake and gets all rigid when facing the empty page… or if it’s written from a light, joyful space that’s whooshing through the page like bluebirds on a summer’s morning.

People don’t always get that the space they write from is just as important as the words that come out. That’s why I’m especially tickled with the title of Story Circle’s national memoir conference, Stories from the Heart V, held in Austin February 5-7 (http://www.storycircle.org/Conference/ ) I’m excited and honored to be one of the writing coaches selected this year to support conference attendees in “writing from their heart.” When we go deep, we find our authentic voices that we can then share with the world.
I hope you’ll join us – let’s find out what riches await when we loosen the rein on our logical brain and write from vaster spaces…

Are you ready to launch your writing visions, whether book, blog, or articles? Would you like to tap your inner wisdom and express your true voice? What about taking some much needed time to reflect and rejuvenate – all while taking your writing project to the next level?

If this sounds inviting, then please join us for the Writing Practical Wisdom retreat from 10-1 p.m. on October 10 in Round Rock, Texas. Fee is $45 (includes lunch).

Retreat benefits include:

o Use the “Writing in the Now” method to access more joy and energy as you create juicier, more meaningful writing
o Create a personal writing ritual and intention setting practice
o Get the essence of YOU into your writing
o Use journaling to clarify your thoughts and ideas
o Write effortlessly by tapping your subconscious
o Bring whatever writing project you’re working on, or want to start, and move it forward

For more information or to register, go to Morning Mist Retreats at www.morningmistretreats.org

I spent the past weekend at the annual Agents Conference (http://writersleague.org/events/2009-conf.htm )
in Austin, Texas, one of the best known in the country and a great opportunity to get updated information on the writing/publishing industries and meet agents face-to-face. Here are a few of the tips I picked up:

* Whether you go the “traditional” or “independent” publishing route, you pretty much have to do your own marketing. Because of cost, fewer authors are doing real-time book tours and instead are opting for virtual book tours, where they “stop” at websites and blogs to be interviewed, to blog or to answer reader questions.

* If you are promoting your book or your business, a signature at the bottom of your email is a good start, but don’t stop there. Be sure to update it with fresh information every couple of weeks!

* If you’re “self-publishing” your book, keep the concept and drop the term. The politically correct thing to call it nowadays is “independent publishing.”

* Writing fiction? A couple of the hottest markets are children’s books and young adult fiction.

* One of the interesting parts of the weekend, aside from all the workshops, was the “Coffee Pitch Round Tables.” There, authors had one minute each (with an egg timer at the ready) to “pitch” their book to an agent. At the end of the pitch, they got a yes, send me more information, or not interested. Agents rotated tables, so it was like speed dating between agents and authors!

See you at the conference next year!

It’s so funny how perfectionism can sneak into our day, even for those of us who wouldn’t typically call ourselves “perfectionists.” Usually I catch it — this time, it snuck right by me.

Someone I admire asked me to write a testimonial for the back cover of her book. After reading it, I made a mental note to write up a quote. Then I lost the book. Then I forgot about the book. Then I found it again, piled under some other books on my shelf, whacked myself in the forehead and thought, “I’ve got to write that testimonial… just as soon as I have time.”

Already, two sneaky little guides of perfectionism had snuck in.

Guise number one – By accidentally “losing” the book, I didn’t have to worry about writing the perfect testimonial.
Guise number two – By telling myself I’d write it when “I had the time,” I was in effect telling myself there wouldn’t be time anytime soon.

A week later, I still hadn’t done it. As this “to-do” began to haunt me more, the pain of not doing it finally overcame my perceived pain of doing it. So I sat down and in five minutes, literally, it was finished. The author read it and thanked me for writing something so, dare I say it, perfect.

I had to laugh. All that angst – for five minutes of writing?

Perfectionism had snuck in and convinced me that I needed to write a really great testimonial. That’s fine to want to do something well. But the erroneous belief that sidled in along with that thought was that in order to do it well, it would take effort. It would take time. Maybe even a few drops of blood. And after all that, it still might not be good.

As it ended up, it took none of the above. I simply had believed my erroneous thoughts — and fallen for the guises.

Discover your own Pearls: When does your wanting to do something “perfectly” sometimes prevent you from doing it at all? Does your perfectionism ever show up as procrastination? What is the cost?

Have you ever had a writing project staring you down, perhaps smirking a little as it teasingly sashayed by? You wanted to nab it and declare yourself the winner, but instead you watched it taunt you and did nothing… other than beating yourself up, that is.

If this sounds familiar, then tune into BlogTalk radio February 4 at 11 CT as life coach Christine Laureano interviews me about how to gain writing confidence and not only start a project, but finish it as well! If you have specific questions, feel free to call in at and ask. We’ll be looking at ways to find your writing mojo, write with less effort and more joy, and figure out where to start if you’re writing to promote yourself. You’ll also see why writing can be better (and cheaper) than therapy!

So please join us, bring your questions and sense of adventure, and we’ll discover some tools to pin down that writing project!

I must admit that I read with some fascination the article in a recent New York Times about how bloggers are moving away from sending speedy dispatches and instead are turning to “slow blogging.” This wasn’t any news flash for me. In fact, slow blogging is the only kind I do.

My favorite spot to write them is my front porch, in tandem with the butterflies wisping over my keyboard, leaves pit-patting a rhythm down the sidewalk, and an occasional hand wave at a passing neighbor. When I’m late for an event, my daughters will attest that I have the fastest stride on the street. But otherwise, I try to slow down enough to actually notice my own thoughts and whether or not my husband has had a good day. I notice when a cold front comes in and like to pause long enough to hear what silence sounds like. My mantra is about slowing down, not speeding up.

So imagine my fascination when I read that one blogger was burning out from so many constant, rapid-fire postings that he finally started setting his blog to post automatically so he could take a lunch break! I can only guess the rate at which he eats lunch, drives or enjoys a sunset…

Since it looks like I’m inadvertently on the cutting edge of the slow blogging trend, I think I’ll stick around and enjoy it. Who knows – instead of my front porch, maybe I’ll really get crazy and blog in the neighborhood park. Meantime, I’ll savor every moment.

Pearls for Writers: Do you write at a leisurely pace and savor the process, or as if being chased by someone holding a whip? Do you notice any similarities between how you write and how you live your life?