I just had lunch with a memoirist friend of mine and we had a great discussion about stoking the flames of creativity. We are both working on a big project right now – she is writing her memoir and mining her past for details, while I am creating a new brand and also mining my past for clues on what it needs to be and what is my fullest expression.

What I’ve discovered has been very interesting. Typically I can write or create anywhere – on my porch, at my dining room table, just inside the bay window by the bird feeder. As long as I have my laptop, writing materials and associated books, I’m set.

But because this project has been bigger and more complex, the process has been different. Each time I work on it, my process has been to “stoke the creative fire” and then, in the midst of the blaze and with inspiration running high, I create. When I finish, the fire dies down, and the next time I work on it I’m back down to stoking the flames again.

The embers are always burning, but what I’ve found is that I’d like a quicker way to start them. As my friend and I nibbled on souvlaki and pita bread at lunch, she shared with me her secret of getting the blaze roaring at record speed — she rented an office.

She found that her more nomadic writing in different spaces was leaving a trail of sparks from room to room. By renting an office space, she says when she enters the door, it feels as if she’s walking inside the book itself. Hung on the walls is butcher paper with lists of positive affirmations, different scenes, motivational pictures that inspire her, etc. She has created an alternate universe that is just for her writing. And when she enters it, she says her body just knows what she’s there to do and on most days the creativity is high upon arrival.

Now I know what you’re saying – how many of us can afford to rent an office space just for our part-time writing? To be honest, this friend isn’t rich, it’s simply that she’s made it a priority. More importantly is that we bring an awareness to our creative space and what environment works best for us.

For instance, I now have a “ritual” box that I take with me when I start working on creative projects. In it, I have various items to help light my fire, such as small pictures that inspire me, a candle, tea bags, a few small rocks and leaves, favorite hand written quotes, and so on. On my computer, I’ve started a journal that captures the flavor of each creative session with my bigger branding project, so I can re-read that when I sit down and not have to wonder where I was or what’s next. All if this leads to the inspiration coming more quickly.

Yesterday I went to write at a coffee shop, and found the tiny Asian woman next to me creating her own space to work. She moved the table, adjusted the blinds, put a napkin under the foot of the table to keep it from wobbling, and then sat down with a mug of tea and satisfied sigh before she began.

It’s not a requirement that we all have, as writer Virginia Woolf called it, a “room of one’s own” in order to write. The muse will come anyway, even if she has to ride in a dirty laundry hamper or whisper to us as we race down a highway. But she loves being wooed every now and again. She adores having a beautiful space and an open heart when we invite her in. And she responds by holding the match for those creative fires…

Writing Pearls: Think about the space where you create, and what you could add to it that would more quickly move you to inspiration? A special painting? A childhood lamp? Or perhaps there’s something you need to remove from that space? Or to fix? What adds to your experience in your writing space and what takes away from it?

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable.

She’s done almost every kind of writing imaginable, including magazine features, newspaper columns, books, journaling — even ghostwriting for Donald Trump! Her favorite sort of writing is the kind where she has to be really present to find the story, so her life and writing are both a constant awakening to a deeper, richer way to live in the world.

To subscribe to Backyard Pearls Newsletter, visit the site here.

Request your complimentary “Getting to Know You” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

Frittering. That’s the word my daughter uses to describe what she does when she’s actively trying to avoid doing homework, but so caught up in feeling guilty about not doing it that she doesn’t instead choose something she actually enjoys. In other words, frittering is how we pass time before and after the stuff that’s important. Qualities of frittering include partial attention, semi-numbness and low level satisfaction. For her, this includes staying on Facebook too long, watching shows on her iPhone and texting.

Now, just to be clear, before I started writing this newsletter I heated up a cup of tea. And watered the plants. And refilled the dog’s water bowl and put on some chapstick and googled how much fat is in a Starbucks scone. But that’s not frittering. That’s settling. (It’s amazing how helpful language distinctions are when one is rationalizing). So what’s the big deal, you may be saying as you read this. A little frittering never hurt anyone. The problem is that when we look at “what we don’t want to do,” the list includes everything from cleaning the toilet with a toothbrush, to things we actually do enjoy once we begin, like writing.

In other words, everything that isn’t simple and pleasurable and easy to begin. So outside of eating ice-cream, that leaves pretty much everything else. And if we fritter between these activities… well, you get the point. If we look at how we want to spend our lives and put it in two columns – on one side, things that are meaningful and on the other, things where time passes with barely a blip on the aliveness scale, most of us would want to have more things on the first side.

So, given our proclivity to fritter, what’s a human to do?

As I write this, I’m noticing my dog lying down by the window, his breath fogging up a corner of the glass. He appears to be resting, but when I look closer I see that he’s actually eying a squirrel out the window. His body is relaxed, yet his attention is focused. Although it doesn’t appear to be the case, he is engaged.

So when we look at these normal frittering activities, perhaps a small step in the right direction is some degree of engagement? There’s surfing the internet in a way where we are checked out and time is passing, and there’s surfing in a way that perhaps we are still noticing the feel of our bottom on the chair, or the way the tips of our fingers both hit and slightly hug the keyboard at the same time. We may not jump from full-out frittering to full-out fabulousness, but we can take a moment to be conscious. To notice, without judging, what’s going on. And who knows, maybe when we do that, we might surprise ourselves and close the keyboard and get on the phone to book salsa classes because we’ve always wanted to. You never know where one step towards engaging with ourselves might lead……

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable.

She’s done almost every kind of writing imaginable, including magazine features, newspaper columns, books, journaling — even ghostwriting for Donald Trump! Her favorite sort of writing is the kind where she has to be really present to find the story, so her life and writing are both a constant awakening to a deeper, richer way to live in the world.

To subscribe to Backyard Pearls Newsletter, visit the site here.

Request your complimentary “Getting to Know You” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

I’m not quite sure when it hit me. Was it when I was floating on my back in the bright Mediterranean Sea? Or perhaps sitting on the roof of my cousin’s house in Crete, laughing and eating as the moon rose over the mountains? Maybe it was listening to the chanting of the priest in an ancient monastery as frankincense swirled around us.

Somewhere during our magical trip to Crete this summer, I re-connected with something I had lost. I’m still in the process of sorting out what it was and what it means, but it has washed over me and won’t let go (in a good way).

In the busy-ness of life, it’s easy to forget such things. It’s easy to forget the scent that reminds you of careening down a slide and landing in the dust with a happy plop. Or the first time you saw the vastness of an ocean. Or even what makes you laugh so hard you get a little woozy.

This is why I write. Because sometimes the pace of life lures me in and I charge forward using my brain all day and forgetting what I know. Yet when I sit down and reach out for words, I have to go down the passageway of the heart to find the right ones. The ones that don’t ring hollow, or chirpy, or of anything that isn’t as close as I can get to truth in the moment. Sometimes I sit for an hour, asking “Is it true” for everything I write and keep answering no, no, no and feeling like time is wasting and I’d rather be doing anything else and then poof, up pops truth.

So I am retrieving. In my writing, in my life. As I sit here and write this, I’m looking at our new entry table with the face of the Greek god Apollo on it, wreathed in flowers and a golden lyre. I chuckle whenever I see it because it reminds me of decorating right out of the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” It was purchased as a reminder of my Greek heritage, and it’s the shape and size of the stones that press olive oil, just like my papou did many years ago in the small village where we spent part of the summer.

The writing I love most are the words that are connected to my essence. You know, that thing we lose sight of when we don’t take time to pause. Because really, it doesn’t matter if you go to Greece or your own backyard. It’s about remembering who you are, and then carrying that with you whether you are writing or taking out the trash. Or dancing on the roof…

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable.

She’s done almost every kind of writing imaginable, including magazine features, newspaper columns, books, journaling — even ghostwriting for Donald Trump! Her favorite sort of writing is the kind where she has to be really present to find the story, so her life and writing are both a constant awakening to a deeper, richer way to live in the world.

To subscribe to Backyard Pearls Newsletter, visit the site here.

Request your complimentary “Getting to Know You” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough, The Book Whisperer, helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

A good friend of mine is doing something most people only dream of – she’s taking almost two months away from her entrepreneurial business for a writing sabbatical. When I mention this to people, they usually gasp and proclaim they could never do that. But when I really look at what it takes to successfully do this – whether a two month sabbatical like hers or even a writing weekend – it all boils down to two things… boundaries and limits.

Boundaries are letting others know where the line is, and limits are how far you will or won’t go. For instance, when I suggested a short coaching session during her sabbatical, she immediately said no. Her boundary was clear. Yet she did it in such a loving, intentional way that I didn’t take it personally. Far from it, I respected her more. She knows that it’s all those little “exceptions” we make that eventually put a big dent in our plans.

On the other hand, I too had limits set for my summer, which included minimizing the number of new clients I’d take and the workshops I’d do. While I was successful on some fronts, I wasn’t on others. I realized that, rather than making a firm commitment, I’d made a hazy intention. I hadn’t gotten full clarity on why this was important to me, and what I stood to lose by not holding firm.

That’s where many of us stall. We aren’t clear in the first place, so when those boundary shifters appear, we waffle. Soon the thought, “Well, maybe this one time” starts creeping in and before we know it, we’ve lost sight of what was truly important to us and are dancing to other people’s tunes and feeling resentful. No one is perfect with this, but the quicker we can catch it, the better.

I’ve also discovered that boundaries are not walls. A wall is sitting down to write and not making exceptions… ever.  But as author John Lee says, “The emotionally intelligent adult can easily set boundaries and limits that can be pulled in, extended, or shifted based on new information, more experience, or choice.” As I’ve been writing this newsletter, my daughter popped her head out the door to where I’m sitting on the front porch and belted out a song. It was a fun two minute break, so I chose “yes” to it, and when it was over I went back to work. Had my wall been up, an automatic “no” would have been there and I would have missed that feel-good break and possibly regretted it later. Had my wall been non-existent, I would have not only heard her sing, but would have answered the phone, gotten side-tracked with Facebook and taken our exercise-deprived dog for a walk.

What I’ve discovered about boundaries and limits is that I have to start with clarity – really understanding my own needs and desires. I also have to give myself permission to have these wants in the first place, and then to follow them. Far from limiting our possibilities, boundaries and limits expand them. We release distractions and focus more clearly on that inner voice that knows our greater good. As I write this, I’m already envisioning for myself a full month off in late summer to travel, recharge and spend time with family. There’s nothing so freeing as a good boundary or two…

Writing Pearls

1. What is an area that’s important to you, in writing or life, where you’d like to see more progress but have instead been feeling frustration?

2. Where are other people crossing the line or where are you overextending yourself to the degree that it doesn’t feel good?

3. Notice this without judgment. Then, decide what boundaries and limits would better serve you?

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable.

She’s done almost every kind of writing imaginable, including magazine features, newspaper columns, books, journaling — even ghostwriting for Donald Trump! Her favorite sort of writing is the kind where she has to be really present to find the story, so her life and writing are both a constant awakening to a deeper, richer way to live in the world.

To subscribe to Backyard Pearls Newsletter, visit the site here.

Request your complimentary “Getting to Know You” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough, The Book Whisperer, helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”

Have you ever tried writing when it’s felt less like flow and more like… pushing play-doh through an extractor? That’s how I felt a few days ago. I sat down to write my newsletter and words came out in messy clumps on my paper. Nothing fit together, and nothing felt easy.

Luckily, I’ve been writing long enough to know that there’s always a better way. I could doggedly stick with my plan and force out the words… or I could step back and tune in.

So, I started getting curious about why the writing wasn’t coming more easily. As I mindfully folded clothes, I noticed an achiness in my body and a tightness in my forehead. Thoughts were racing through my brain. As I slowed down my breathing and watched my thoughts a bit, bingo, there it was.

I’ve been opening my coaching practice into some new and untested areas, stretching the boundaries of where I’ve been and taking interesting turns at places. So, when I sat down to write, what showed up was confusion (What direction am I going, What else am I meant to be?) and old marching orders (Write about this writing topic that’s been on your list for weeks). With all this murkiness about what I really wanted to express, no wonder I couldn’t write!

I also realized that my “buzz” wasn’t going to come from any of the tired topics I had planned to write about. As I did some breathing, the words appeared — Beginners Mind. I was trying to force writing from places I’d been, instead of writing from the freshness of where I was standing in the moment. Where I was standing was in the midst of transition, which can be seen as negative and stressful or the precipice of something exciting. In that moment, being an expert held little interest to me. As Zen Master Shunryo Suzuki says, “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.”

Being an “expert” felt boring, and my writing reflected that. Even worse, it sounded artificial — like I was talking about something from a part of me that wasn’t authentic. What felt so much more inviting and freeing in that moment was to release all that and give myself permission not to know. To just write from “here I am and who knows what will come out.” I trusted that the right message would appear – for me and my readers. As soon as I did that, the writing began…

Writing Pearls:

At times, we all find our creativity clogged with old thoughts and habits. Perhaps it’s time to get the Drano and clear the pipes?

What in your life are you ready to release? What identity/habit/thought have you held onto for so long that it’s become boring and flat and inhibits you from full expression? What would happen if you approached your writing with beginner’s mind, being fully in the moment and noticing what bubbles up?

As founder of Backyard Pearls, LLC, Carolyn Scarborough helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. As a Writing Wisdom Coach, she supports you through the journey from inspiring idea to published piece in a way that’s joyful, effortless and profitable.

She’s done almost every kind of writing imaginable, including magazine features, newspaper columns, books, journaling — even ghostwriting for Donald Trump! Her favorite sort of writing is the kind where she has to be really present to find the story, so her life and writing are both a constant awakening to a deeper, richer way to live in the world.

To subscribe to Backyard Pearls Newsletter, visit the site here.

Request your complimentary “Getting to Know You” session to start turning your inner whisperings into a published book, blog or article.

You may reprint the featured article, in its entirety, by including a byline and the following information: “Carolyn Scarborough, The Book Whisperer, helps people tap into their inner wisdom, then share it with the world through books, blogs and articles. You can get a free audio on overcoming writers block by clicking HERE.”